I'd Release my Tether (If It Brings You Home)
by Tif S
Summary: A possible missing moment set between seasons 1 and 2: The Cohens lost both of their sons, and all feel the spiral. Three months and six phone calls. Each have very different effects on the Cohen parents and the Atwood and Cohen boys. (Heavily Kirsten/Sandy. With appearances from Ryan and Seth) Mostly canon compliant exploring what we didn't see in those missing months.
1. Prologue Realization

**Prologue: Realization**

They don't realize the moment it happens, and Kirsten wonders if she is broken, if that parental spidey sense that she should have honed and primed, that tells her when her babies have a fever, when the boys are in trouble, is defunct or skipped two rather than one generation of Nichols.

In their defense, Sandy says, Seth has never pulled a stunt like this. And sometimes he has gotten lost in the moment when sailing. The Cohen in him, Sandy keeps saying as he paces, no different than when he is surfing and is tempted to stay out just a little longer. But the Nichol in him, they both refuse to say it. The Nichol in him would grow uneasy at the thought of nightfall and not coming home.

Sandy is the one making phone calls: Jimmy, Marissa, Summer, and he stops short of calling Caleb Nichol. Caleb wouldn't know where his grandson was if his picture was on the front cover of Riviera with a full color map.

" _Mr. Cohen…_ " It is when he's on the phone with Summer that he catches a break, and Summer in tears. It is then that he realizes before the girl finishes. This is more than just staying out on the beach late. " _He left a note...he...he's…"_

"Sandy…" He looks up to see his wife in tears holding a note. "He... took the boat..."

Sandy nearly rips the note out of his wife's grasp. His eyes move lightning fast over the words, and he reads between the lines. It says he will call when he is settled to let them know he is alive and semi well. And it is then Sandy knows, his son is a Cohen through and through. Hadn't he made the same decision, as his son? Leaving home, leaving his family. What sort of example had he set for Seth? His sixteen year old self hadn't even met his son, but have story will travel, and it had...right into the ears of Seth. _Goddammit._

"Sandy…"

"He says he'll call." He's working on autopilot. "All we can do is wait." He doesn't want to wait. He doesn't. He wants to call the coast guard and make sure his son isn't below the waves, but he knows this mindset. He is sixteen years old again and out the door trying to find space, trying to find peace of mind. And he knows Seth. His son will call.

"That's it?" Kirsten is incredulous, no she's numb. "We're just going to wait?"

"No." Sandy moves in search of the phone, takes a beat, realizes it is in his hand. "No we're not." And he dials the number his foster son gave him.


	2. Chapter 1: Breathe In

_**A/N: Hello, well I decided to wait until I finished the series before I continued with this story which was a while ago, but unfortunately I got busy, and will probably only get busier as classes have started again, but had a burst of inspiration which I have decided to take full advantage of. Those who follow Silence of Seth Cohen, I'll be updating that soon as well, but I decided to take advantage of the angsty mood that comes with classes starting and bring some pure hurt comfort back by returning to Tether first.**_

 _ **A brief note: This is mostly a Cohen couple story. That has not changed, but this chapter is purely Ryan. So the boys are not forgotten. But we will get back to exploring Sandy and Kirsten next chapter.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C. or anything recognizable. It belongs to FOX and Josh Schwartz**_

* * *

 **Chapter One: Breathe In**

Ryan hears the sharp ringing of the home phone in Theresa's house. He just got in from a job hunt, got an interview with a construction company scheduled for the morning. He isn't expecting any phone calls, and he doesn't think Theresa's family is either, but he answers anyway. "Hello,"

" _Ryan, it's Sandy."_

Ryan rubs the back of his neck. "Hey," He hears something amiss in his guardian's tone. There's a frantic panic, or well, Sandy Cohen's version of a frantic panic."What's going on?"

" _Have you heard from Seth? Has he called you at all"_

"Not," Ryan goes to the fridge and grabs a drink. "In the last day since I left. Why, did he not come home last night or something?" Ryan hears the intake of breath on the other end of the line, and somehow pieces it together. Seth hadn't went home. "Sandy, do you need anything? I can be on a bus in a few hours."

" _No, you don't have to."_ Sandy said. " _Stay with Theresa, just...just call if you hear anything from Seth."_

Ryan sighs. "Sandy, I'm coming back."

" _And I'm telling you to stay where you are Ryan."_

"Come on…" Ryan scoffs. "You can't be serious."

" _He left a note. He says he'll call."_ Ryan can hear Sandy's measured calm, is once again taken aback. The way he says the words, Ryan can hear the end of discussion looming. He knows by now Sandy would never outright say it, that's not his style, but he knows it's as close as he'll get. Reasoning with Sandy Cohen is a losing battle, his foster father can out-reason anyone.

Even if he tried to make a case for returning to Newport, Sandy would just make staying in Chino make sense, make it seem as though he and Kirsten would be fine, were simply concerned for him, Theresa and the baby as much as Seth, despite their son being off, and despite the whole thing being Ryan's fault.

He knows it is, despite anything that anyone would tell him to the contrary. He should have noticed that Seth was bothered by his abrupt departure, but all he could do was say goodbye. Long drawn out farewells were never his style, even when he was a kid. He remembers he was dropped off to kindergarten long before all of the family problems started that would make Atwood synonymous with issues in many people's minds, and all he did was a split second hug and a nod before the car pulled away. Tears that were abruptly wiped away before his father noticed them threaten to fall, a nod and a turning of his back as he ran into the building when the teacher called.

It was a habit he never cultivated, the value of a goodbye, the value of breathing taking that time to appreciate what he was leaving. He did, he really did. He could tell the Cohens knew it. Sandy and Kirsten had learned him well, nearly as well as they knew Seth. It was impressive, that instinct that had formed so fast, how quickly they became parents to a boy they'd only met after he was near the brink. Sandy knew when he needed space, or a firm talk. Kirsten knew when he needed someone to listen, that gentle approach his own mother had struggled with for so long trapped in her own spiral.

But with Seth, Seth was different. And Ryan should have seen it. He attached himself fast, so fast it could be frightening. Despite the fact that it hadn't even been a sure thing, Seth had really been the second person to give Ryan a fair shake. Seth needed that expression, the expression Ryan struggled to show, and leaving without an explanation with only a simple goodbye, well that hadn't worked out well for any of them.

Ryan had managed to break the family that had given him a chance, and that didn't sit well with him at all. "Sandy," He sighs ready to not take no for an answer, ready to say he was coming back and hang up before Sandy could respond, but then he hears the door open.

"Ryan, who's on the phone?" Theresa.

"Keep me posted. I'll talk to you soon." Is all he winds up saying as the reality sets in and he hangs up. This is his life now. He chose to leave Newport and the Cohens behind. He left nothing but destruction the day he chose to return to Chino, and the less he's involved when they put the pieces together the better. This was his way of breathing, of appreciating what he left behind, by not destroying it further.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So I hope you enjoyed that tiny (Um sure right? Almost 800 word) insight. Let me know if you have any thoughts. I'd love to know. Watching the first episode of season 2, I couldn't help but notice Ryan's efforts that had probably built over that three month period to lose himself in Chino again and how that was difficult for him. This is kind of how...and possibly why, I see that starting.**_


	3. Chapter 2: Nine AMNine PM

_**A/N: Hello O.C. Fans, here with another installment of Tether. As usual, I don't own anything. Anything recognizable from the O.C. belongs to Josh Schwartz and FOX. I'm just theorizing a bit. As usual with Tether, I'm trying hard to make this as canon compliant as possible filling the holes between seasons 1 and 2, but some details may be AU'ed up a bit either as an oversight or a miniscule twist on things to correlate with the small inclusions of Ryan and Seth in this Cohen Couple centric story. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Nine AM/Nine PM**

It is two days, two days of hair pulling, of work calls, of Newport Group errands. When Caleb Nichol comes around, Kirsten does not spare time for a knowing eye roll or a whispered remark toward her husband. As a matter of fact, she barely spares a remark on anything.

"Kirsten…" The plans for the latest development are spread on the kitchen table. There is scarcely room to schmear a bagel. He lingers at the kitchen island as he grabs his choice of breakfast food, his eyes on his wife who is flurrying about from paper to paper, from blueprint to blueprint. "Honey…"

"The construction crew is sick, the designers pulled out and the deadline for the remodel is in three days." Kirsten says.

"Kirsten…" Sandy tries again. "Did you eat?"

"Dad's going to conference call at two with potential buyers and I don't know what I'm going to tell them."

Sandy's gaze travels to the sink. He sees a coffee mug and a wine glass. "Kirsten, it's nine AM." He walks over to where his wife is tense, places his hands on her shoulders. "It's nine AM." He feels his wife tense up, hears the hitch in her breath, and he rubs circles with his thumbs.

* * *

With the two of them, Kirsten notices, it is like a dance. The days without their sons. One day, Sandy is in the lead: strong secure sure of things. It is only when the orchestration slows, the first act winds down, that Kirsten sees it: the man behind the curtain. The one she is not supposed to pay any attention to, as she is Dorothy, and he is supposed to be the wizard, her OZ the great and magnanimous.

It is a point of fact that when Sandy Cohen is troubled, he goes to the water, the surfing. That's why he goes every morning. He told her once during the many times when a young, still trying to impress version of Sanford Cohen tried to teach her how to surf. " _Ocean air, the tide washes everything clear. No better therapist than the blue."_

So, in not seeing her husband return from an evening stroll, in looking at the time nine PM, Kirsten is out the door. Her son's coping...or lack thereof in the forefront of her mind. The beach is the first place she goes… and sure enough, Sandy Cohen sits: bare feet, knees pulled up, watching that blue drift back and forth, his thoughts no doubt as tumultuous as the waves crashing against the shore.

"Hey stranger." She's suddenly shy, insecure in seeing the apparent vulnerability in front of her. There's something different in her husband's gaze, the surety is fractured in the eve on this beachfront.

He turns to face her, and his smile is teetering, close to half mast. "I decided to take a detour. Too nice a night to be cooped up inside."

She nods as she decides impulsively and cautiously all at once. She removes her shoes and takes a perch beside her husband. The water is a mixed message. What used to soothe now jerks her awake in half crazed states, a mother lion in fear for her cubs. For Sandy, she can tell as she watches him watch the waves, it is more akin to a day of surf in the hours before a storm. The waves just large enough to ride. Not a pure danger in the right hands so long as you remain aware before the sky goes black. He is allowing his children the chance to ride until they tire, trusting them to know the time to come in.

And it is at this moment that Kirsten knows why she's failed to enjoy surfing, why those countless lessons have failed, even under Sandy Cohen's capable instruction. She can't simply ride a wave. She needs the security of the sand under her feet, and she feels it slipping away.

* * *

The phone rings at nine AM. Sharp, sudden, a starting gun for the couple at the coffee machine.

Kirsten is the one to answer. "Cohen residence."

" _Mom,"_

Kirsten gasps. "Seth, honey, are you okay? Where are you?"

Her son's voice is a welcome sound, but there is something different, something that splinters Kirsten. " _I'm in Portland. I'm doing okay. I got a job teaching sailing."_

"W... _Portland_?" Kirsten's voice climbs an octave as she turns to her husband in disbelief. "When are you coming home?" She can't help the question that escapes her lips, even as her husband shakes his head. _Too soon._

And then that something becomes more defined. Seth's voice is suddenly hard. " _I'm not coming back to Newport. I'm doing well here. "_

"Seth…" Kirsten tries.

Sandy grabs the phone from his wife quickly. "Seth, don't…" But he's already hung up.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So I hope you enjoyed this insight into the Cohen parents, more to come. Let me know your thoughts in general, also if there is anything specific you'd like to see in relation to Ryan and Seth phone calls, instances, arguments anything, and I'll try to implement it along with my plans for Sandy and Kirsten. After all there are three months to play with, plenty of time for things to topsy turvy over the phone :)**_


End file.
